Social inclusion plays a significant role in any child’s development. Getting left out of school activities, having no friends, cyberbullying or being the last to be chosen in a group really stings quite a lot. These are all examples of social exclusion or relational aggression that affect children today. Over time, this can impact a child’s self-esteem, emotional well-being and academics. Parents with children who do the excluding (whether intentionally or not) also face a different set of problems. So while your natural instinct would be to jump in to protect your children when they face social exclusion, it is far better to empower them with the tools to manage social conflicts independently. So how do you teach your child to be inclusive yet allow them to set healthy boundaries? Here are a couple of things to bear in mind when teaching social inclusivity to children.
1. Monitor their online activities
With MCO upon us, it is more common to see children on their tablets or phones, hunched over them, thumbs scrolling and tapping away, either for educational purposes or simply to entertain themselves. While technology is a great tool, there are some negative aspects to it. This is especially true when young children are left unsupervised, or internet safety is not ensured.
If you notice your child participating in online activities that involve cyberbullying or ostracising others, be sure to address it. While they are not causing physical harm, words can still impact others and are just as hurtful. Ideally, teach your child how to disengage from unhealthy online relationships, activities, and media content. It would be good to be able to keep an eye on what they are doing remotely. There are various parenting apps that you can install to help you do just that. Until then, it might take some time and patience on your part, especially when dealing with children who are already invested in these activities, virtual friendships or are afraid of missing out due to peer pressure. Remember to set clear boundaries as you hold them accountable.
2. Encourage diversity
Everyone holds unconscious beliefs about different social and identity groups. These biases stem from our different upbringings, cultural values, and belief systems. In turn, things like negative stereotypes or prejudices can surface and shape our practices and social interactions – sometimes without us even realising it. Are you accepting of people? Do you use other races as examples to prove a certain point? Suppose you want your children to be socially inclusive, then perhaps we as parents need to first learn to recognise and work on our own biases. After all, our children would always follow our lead.
You can always encourage your children to be socially diverse by giving them opportunities to play with children from different backgrounds, races and physical abilities. This will enable them to learn from others, be more respectful and help prevent or resolve social conflicts in their social interactions. Through interactions like these, they will be given the opportunity to learn and develop a more mature worldview. They will also be more open-minded and be better prepared to interact with a diverse world in the future.
3. Support their individuality
Imitating others is not a bad thing per se, but if your child is trying way too hard to fit into the “cool kids” group, then it is high time to sit down to have a heart to heart talk. They need to be reminded of their unique qualities and value them rather than feeling the need to conform to a herd mentality. Encourage and support your child to explore their interests and to feel secure in their individuality as this will build their self-esteem. Keep an open mind about what their interests are, but be there to guide them. Give them a safe space to make certain decisions and empower them to think about the consequences of their choices. Remind them to value their appearance, values, quirks, and personality as unique and respect others for theirs.
4. Instill empathy
Another key part of teaching social inclusion is teaching empathy. Role-play different scenarios with your child and get them to describe to you what they think the other person is feeling. Putting your child in another person’s shoes is a great way to widen their perspective. Allow them to link specific actions to the feelings they cause. Keep it simple and talk to your child about feelings in age-appropriate terms, and do not overcomplicate. By doing so, you can help build compassion, empathy and teach emotional intelligence. In turn, they can learn to create more meaningful, healthier interactions with their peers and advocate for others who are being socially excluded.
5. Healthy friendships and boundaries
As adults, we all know the immeasurable value of good, healthy friendships through trial and error growing up – but younger children just entering the world may not. Learning how to make friends can be fun and exciting but also scary at times. That’s why it’s essential to teach them what makes a healthy friendship and how to be a good friend. Emphasise good values like kindness, respect, and empathy. Being in the “in crowd” doesn’t always equate to the best friendships. As they grow up, these friendships might change and evolve as well.
Parents should not feel pressured to stay in trend with the latest gadgets or clothes for their children even if they think this is in their best interest. Friendships shouldn’t be based on what is socially accepted by their peers, and children should not be judged for their material possessions. While it is good to practice social inclusivity, it’s equally important to help your child learn to stand up for themselves and set healthy boundaries when other kids are pushy, aggressive, or just plain thoughtless. By helping your child create a plan for what to do when someone doesn’t respect their feelings or boundaries, your child would have the opportunity to practice standing up for themselves.
Take Home
Remember, your child is constantly learning how to treat others through your actions because you are the best role model for them. They will look to you and watch how you handle social interactions, social conflicts, practice tolerance, and empathise with people. So be mindful of how you treat others. Above all, let your child know they will always have unconditional love and support at home. This can provide a much-needed boost to their self-confidence and self-esteem.
Teaching Social Inclusivity
Social inclusion plays a significant role in any child’s development. Getting left out of school activities, having no friends, cyberbullying or being the last to be chosen in a group really stings quite a lot. These are all examples of social exclusion or relational aggression that affect children today. Over time, this can impact a child’s self-esteem, emotional well-being and academics. Parents with children who do the excluding (whether intentionally or not) also face a different set of problems. So while your natural instinct would be to jump in to protect your children when they face social exclusion, it is far better to empower them with the tools to manage social conflicts independently. So how do you teach your child to be inclusive yet allow them to set healthy boundaries? Here are a couple of things to bear in mind when teaching social inclusivity to children.
1. Monitor their online activities
With MCO upon us, it is more common to see children on their tablets or phones, hunched over them, thumbs scrolling and tapping away, either for educational purposes or simply to entertain themselves. While technology is a great tool, there are some negative aspects to it. This is especially true when young children are left unsupervised, or internet safety is not ensured.
If you notice your child participating in online activities that involve cyberbullying or ostracising others, be sure to address it. While they are not causing physical harm, words can still impact others and are just as hurtful. Ideally, teach your child how to disengage from unhealthy online relationships, activities, and media content. It would be good to be able to keep an eye on what they are doing remotely. There are various parenting apps that you can install to help you do just that. Until then, it might take some time and patience on your part, especially when dealing with children who are already invested in these activities, virtual friendships or are afraid of missing out due to peer pressure. Remember to set clear boundaries as you hold them accountable.
2. Encourage diversity
Everyone holds unconscious beliefs about different social and identity groups. These biases stem from our different upbringings, cultural values, and belief systems. In turn, things like negative stereotypes or prejudices can surface and shape our practices and social interactions – sometimes without us even realising it. Are you accepting of people? Do you use other races as examples to prove a certain point? Suppose you want your children to be socially inclusive, then perhaps we as parents need to first learn to recognise and work on our own biases. After all, our children would always follow our lead.
You can always encourage your children to be socially diverse by giving them opportunities to play with children from different backgrounds, races and physical abilities. This will enable them to learn from others, be more respectful and help prevent or resolve social conflicts in their social interactions. Through interactions like these, they will be given the opportunity to learn and develop a more mature worldview. They will also be more open-minded and be better prepared to interact with a diverse world in the future.
3. Support their individuality
Imitating others is not a bad thing per se, but if your child is trying way too hard to fit into the “cool kids” group, then it is high time to sit down to have a heart to heart talk. They need to be reminded of their unique qualities and value them rather than feeling the need to conform to a herd mentality. Encourage and support your child to explore their interests and to feel secure in their individuality as this will build their self-esteem. Keep an open mind about what their interests are, but be there to guide them. Give them a safe space to make certain decisions and empower them to think about the consequences of their choices. Remind them to value their appearance, values, quirks, and personality as unique and respect others for theirs.
4. Instill empathy
Another key part of teaching social inclusion is teaching empathy. Role-play different scenarios with your child and get them to describe to you what they think the other person is feeling. Putting your child in another person’s shoes is a great way to widen their perspective. Allow them to link specific actions to the feelings they cause. Keep it simple and talk to your child about feelings in age-appropriate terms, and do not overcomplicate. By doing so, you can help build compassion, empathy and teach emotional intelligence. In turn, they can learn to create more meaningful, healthier interactions with their peers and advocate for others who are being socially excluded.
5. Healthy friendships and boundaries
As adults, we all know the immeasurable value of good, healthy friendships through trial and error growing up – but younger children just entering the world may not. Learning how to make friends can be fun and exciting but also scary at times. That’s why it’s essential to teach them what makes a healthy friendship and how to be a good friend. Emphasise good values like kindness, respect, and empathy. Being in the “in crowd” doesn’t always equate to the best friendships. As they grow up, these friendships might change and evolve as well.
Parents should not feel pressured to stay in trend with the latest gadgets or clothes for their children even if they think this is in their best interest. Friendships shouldn’t be based on what is socially accepted by their peers, and children should not be judged for their material possessions. While it is good to practice social inclusivity, it’s equally important to help your child learn to stand up for themselves and set healthy boundaries when other kids are pushy, aggressive, or just plain thoughtless. By helping your child create a plan for what to do when someone doesn’t respect their feelings or boundaries, your child would have the opportunity to practice standing up for themselves.
Take Home
Remember, your child is constantly learning how to treat others through your actions because you are the best role model for them. They will look to you and watch how you handle social interactions, social conflicts, practice tolerance, and empathise with people. So be mindful of how you treat others. Above all, let your child know they will always have unconditional love and support at home. This can provide a much-needed boost to their self-confidence and self-esteem.
